There are two lies in this world. The first is that every single person is beautiful in their own way. The second is that looks don’t matter and what is on the inside is important. Now both are not entirely false but neither is absolutely true. I’ll explain in two paragraphs; one for each lie to keep it nice and organized for you.
I recently watched a TED Talk from a girl who was dubbed “The ugliest girl in the world.” Objectively speaking, that may be true. But before you bash me for being insensitive, hear me out. I don’t agree with anyone making a video about someone calling them hideous for looks they can’t control. To me it’s an illogical way to make yourself feel better about the insecurities you have with your own looks. But the comments insisting she is beautiful are equally as illogical. Her appearance is not beautiful and many people wouldn’t date her if they based everything on looks. Now the reason I have a problem with this is because we as a society insist that everyone needs to be beautiful. We continually say that everyone is beautiful and that beauty is easily obtained. This is all false. What we should be doing is insisting that everyone has a quality. This is much easier to prove with even the lowest walks of humanity. If you realize early on that you’re a naturally hideous looking creature with acne until you’re 50, then you better work on your sense of humor or intelligence. You can be a Bill Gates with more money than any African country would know what to do with and look like you were the lead role from Revenge of the Nerds. No one is going to say he’s a stud but no one is going to deny he is not an extremely valuable human specimen. Everyone should take a note from Amy Poehler. Instead of being crushed when she read that her childhood boyfriend thought she was ugly, she decided that beauty wasn’t going to be a thing she chased. She knew she was funny and she made one hell of a life for herself pursuing that.
The second lie would be that looks have absolutely nothing to do with your choice of mate. It may not be the top choice but it is still a factor. People are worried about their image to some degree. Well, anyone with a desire to live. If we didn’t we wouldn’t ever spend money on clothes that look good. We wouldn’t shower regularly and we wouldn’t get haircuts that have any style to them. Of course there are health advantages to showering and what not but the scented shampoos and morning showers are to make yourself appear to be clean and well-kept, regardless of how you are when you’re in your apartment for 48 hours straight every weekend. And because we care about our image, we don’t want to be seen holding hands and making kissy faces with someone who looks like they walked out of a radioactive chemical spill. Like, my longtime friend Louis C.K. preaches, we all look for someone equal or better. He uses other words but for the sake of my blog, we’ll say he says “look for”. And because we do this, those who say it’s not a factor say this because they already know in an instant if a person is attractive enough for them to date. So when they decide if this person is worth it or not, they’ve already subconsciously approved them on their attractiveness meter and are now looking at their intelligence, sense of humor, independence, or any other factor that most of us look for in other people and don’t care if we really have it or not. ** As a side note, if anyone dates up, it would follow that someone has to date down. These are the girls who are tricked into thinking their guy is not a shallow prick who is going to mentally control them for many years. Or it’s the girls who convince a guy that they’re not just into the money and really are saving themselves for marriage.
So let’s recap everything I just said and see if it all makes sense. I’m doing this for you and for me because I never reread my blogs after I write them, nor do I do any type of planning to make sure I’m not just rambling. Being beautiful is not the end all be all for success or happiness. Statistically speaking I’d say that about a quarter of the population is actually beautiful. And that’s okay. If everyone was beautiful then essentially no one would be. Beauty would be the new norm and everyone would be normal. We need to accept ugly people to appreciate the beautiful ones. We need to accept dumb people to appreciate the intelligent ones. Basically, we need to accept there are people out there that lack any quality we’d like to praise. People are born good and bad at many different things, so insist on finding what the good ones are and praise whatever that is; even if it’s an exceptional knack for making farting noises with your hand and armpit.